Being a Young Adult cancer survivor is a precarious thing. It's not what I would imagine being an older survivor would be because it seems more accepted that older folks may have faced this disease. Nor do I think it is anything like being a childhood survivor where you may not remember your journey as you age. Being a young adult survivor really displaces you in the social world.
Going through my classes this semester, I have begun to notice the changes in social aspects of my life and thinking about why things may have changed. At a time where it's natural for high school friends to start falling away and new relationships to start forming, I find myself wondering if this process of breaking away from my past friends is accelerated because of my cancer experience. I don't find myself quite relating to those I used to associate myself with, but that could also be because I go to a completely different school than most of them. See? It's hard to figure out!
I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling a disconnect with my past, and it doesn't help that I now have to still deal with all the effects of cancer post-treatment. It's just a very confusing time right now. I feel so confident and so lost at the same time and it's difficult to make sense of who I am right now.
I guess what I'm saying is not only am I distancing from my past social life, but it seems as though I'm disconnected from myself. And that's hard to deal with sometimes.
*I apologize for the rant like post. Sometimes you just have to free write and get it all out there.
Just keep reminding yourself to give it time. You have gone through something so traumatic and have come out stronger as a result. Give yourself some credit for simply maintaining your sanity! As my dad use to tell me, Cancer does not determine who you are or who you will be.. you do. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm really curious (as I'm sure many others who were following your story are) as to how you're doing now that it's been almost a year since being diagnosed cancer free? Another update would be great.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes from Ireland.